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Some would say she was a cat hoarder. A little

  • Some would say she was a cat hoarder. A little crazy, but innocently overrun with cats. But I knew better. Actually she was evil, conniving with the cats to
  • give up their lives on crazy runs to satisfy her own curiosity. She was curious about everything. Who makes those plastic things on bread? Then she sends out a cat for deadly
  • errands, only for the West Mississippi Plastic Pants Task Force to get her cat out of a tree. Then they warn her that owners should keep cats indoors today due to magnetic trees.
  • Her cat coughed up a tangle of magnetic field lines which began to suck all the ferrous items in the house towards it; cheap "silverwear", steel toed boots,
  • pumpkins, and my grandmothers wedding toe ring. "Dag nabbit! Those field lines are interrupting Wheel of Fortune!" Grandma said. Acting as if it were more important than her ring.
  • You see, despite all that had been happening with Granny lately, the truth was that Pat Sajak was her love child. She'd never told a soul & liked to tune in each night to see him.
  • The spinning of the wheel brought her back to the night when Pat was conceived - the carnival lights had dazzled her, and young Fred Sajak the Tilt-A-Whirl operator bedded her that
  • one time on a doormat sliding down the helter shelter. Fred disappeared. 19 year old Pat, the fruit of their union, carried on the tradition by conceiving, with father unknown, on
  • the Pineapple Express. As the only train which allowed passengers of miscegenated fruit, many delicious bowls were the result innumerable steamy nights in the comfortable and
  • humid compartments. When they train finally reached its destination, they were all jelly. My head jerked back into reality as the toast popped up. God! I need to get more sleep.
Started
2011-12-02 16:22:42
Finished
2013-11-01 19:24:30

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Nov 02 2013 @ 06:12

    Sorry - didn't realise Pat Sajak was male. Also skelter got autocorrected to shelter.
  2. Avatar

    jayursus Nov 03 2013 @ 09:24

    Sadly, I can easily picture Pat Sajak giving birth - doesn't hurt the story at all ;)
  3. Avatar

    lucielucie Nov 04 2013 @ 02:57

    :^)

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