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Monday morning, 9am. It's pouring outside

  • Monday morning, 9am. It's pouring outside and I'm struggling to summon up enough motivation to get out of bed.
  • I looked out the window and then I saw it. I could not believe it! It was a
  • ...Oh my...I can't even describe it. I've never seen anything like it. It's...Well, it's...I have to look away! But I can't!! It...It's coming this way!! Our Father, who art in hea
  • ven, hollowed out as thy brain --" "Prayin' won't help you now," Grandpa cut in. "You should've listened to your Elders." Maybe so. The brilliant ball of light hurled toward us
  • . Suddenly I remembered what my elders said so long ago. I had sat on Grandpa's lap as he conveyed his wisdom: "Duck!" I hit the dirt as the fireball sailed over me. Grandpa smiled
  • somewhere up there, or perhaps in his grave. He^'d ducked once when he should have goosed. A traumatic accident I prefer not to elaborate. The fireball crashed into Grandma's still
  • and the resulting explosion generated a crater 30 meters in diameter. Found Grandma's corncob pipe, but not a speck of her DNA. Our historic family moonshining operation was kaput.
  • But not all was lost. My pelvic girdle was still intact, a body part many people take for granted. Without it our organs would flop around unsupported. Strong hillbillies make
  • us look like fools. They walk around swinging their hips thinking they are on the cat walk.
  • I could hear their joints clicking loudly. "Stop! That noise is driving me nuts!" "Sounds like a short drive." That was the last straw. I left the hipsters and their silly walks.
Started
2015-05-28 20:46:14
Finished
2015-10-29 22:37:35

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 30 2015 @ 11:22

    hipster hillbillies?
  2. Avatar

    PurpleProf Oct 30 2015 @ 11:44

    Hipster hillbillies exist...in Asheville, NC. They are called hipsterbillies. http://askasheville.com/asheville-culture/5-types-hippies-asheville-wnc

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