It was the second to the last day for the

It was the second to the last day for the National Writing Project fellows. After a gratifying four weeks of writing boot camp, they were about to be free. Then things got weird.

The time crunching drill Sargent informed us that, now that we had practice we were now all going to revise every piece of writing we ever did, have to support it and

recite it in front of 10 drunk college professors. It was a tall order. When we got back to the barracks Tim broke down. "I can't do it. For God's sake man, It's too much. I write

for myself. Not for those bastards," Tim looked up. "And..." he paused for a moment. "I write for you." "But I don't love you," the words stung like a thousand bees. "Your nothing

But a washed-up sitcom hack." Tim looked up again. Tears in his eyes. "I'll always have Galaxyquest you bastard." Although Tim's voice was soft, there was a kind of strength

apparent in him. An acceptance of the man he was. "Mr. Allen..there's always pornography.", I consoled him. Tim looked at me with a fierce determination blazing in his eyes. "Never

underestimate the power of a man desperate to get laid." With that, Tim packed up his condoms, various bottles of liquor, fat wad of cash, and Barry White CD and headed off to

7-11 to buy one of those roses that are sold next to the Slim Jims, and get a Krispy Creme. A thug burst in to rob the register, saw Tim, his doughnut and the Barry White CD

and interrupted his heist to ask, "Say, does that have Superlover on it?" Tim replied, "No, but I've got 'The Man is Back' at home", so Tim helped the thug tie up the clerk & then

rented all the movies he wanted without ever having to pay a late fee. And that's the whole story of why Blockbuster shut down. Now where will people find third-rate SNES games?