Frank was a bald banker. Frankly, he thought,

Frank was a bald banker. Frankly, he thought, he couldn't give a damn about the economy. He wasn't married. He didn't even have a cat. But by jove, he had money. The thing was

always hounding Frank. It kept asking for its payment. But the Bald Banker was a deadbeat. The "Thing" was evil and sadistic. It had no rights to its payment. So Frank cut a deal

with Chuck McGluck from "We kill Weeds Dead or your money back!". Frank told Chuck he could have half his harvest of Sour Diesel if he exterminated the "Thing". Chuck shouldered

his flame thrower and thus equipped, strode purposefully toward the menace of the garden that grew in choking and smothering aggression but was

it really all just a cry for help? After some quick personal inventory he set down the flame thrower and used loppers to carefully prune the garden back. He applied some bat guano

over his entire naked body and ventured back into the garden armed only with small shears. All was quiet. With the riotous overgrowth trimmed, things seemed almost normal except

that he'd accidentally cut his pinky finger off and pints of blood showered over the garden. "The wedding is ruined!" one guest said for some reason. But the real mystery was

why the so-called "happy" couple was getting married in the first place when all they ever did was fight. "Now look what you did, you pig!" the guests heard the bride scream. "You

are just a dirty, rotten pig!" The bride-to-be shrieked. Kermit peered from behind the curtains. It was so cute when she got volatile. Then they wed. Jim Henson would be proud.

They stepped into the limo, laughing, & rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after. I sighed wistfully, wishing I too could someday find a love like theirs. Beautiful.