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"Ok, put the Mackerel behind the wheel."

  • "Ok, put the Mackerel behind the wheel." "Don!" I shouted. But Don was serious. I pulled the oily fish from the tank and sat him in the driver's seat. It was a formula 1 car and th

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  • e mall cop revved his Segway. The Mackerel knew his way around a Formula 1 stick shift, but not malls, as evidenced by a turn into Sbarro. The mall cop surged ahead on an escalator

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  • Towards the nearest subway, where he caught the next southbound Red Line. Almost four years later, his tale will be finally finished. His horse, Gandalf, caught on and galloped to

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  • the tones of a John Cage fright. Something about a horse named Gandalf that could do interpretive dance to avant garde minimalist music tickled the internet's fancy for just a few

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  • days before everyone re-discovered Jackson Pollock and sat mesmerized; staring at their monitors; mouths agape. Were they wondering why his art was "art"? Or were they stunned by

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  • the fact that no one could create something as beautiful. Even those art kids almost went into panic mode by staring at it. It could make anyone go insane. Even smart-heads like

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  • Einstein would sit, stare, and spend countless years trying to extract the meaning of this artistic masterpiece. It was as if

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  • this piece of art challenged his theory of relativity. He poked his mustache and twirled his long grey hair as he gazed at it. "Albert," his wife said, "Dinner has been ready for

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  • a half-hour. I made your favorite: Relativity Soufflé.” He knew the recipe: E=mc2 (Eggs = milk X cheese2). But Einstein felt sorrow knowing his theory was challenged by an artwork.

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  • But his sorrow transformed into an impish grin as he realized the Soufflé's increasing curvature meant it would collapse under its own mass & form an infinitely dense singularity.

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2 Comments

  1. LordVacuity May 07 2018 @ 17:16

    Here's to our imminent molasses like existence in the event horizon of Einstein's dinner Relativity Soufflé.

  2. Woab May 08 2018 @ 14:24

    Hear, hear!

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