That day my girlfriend gave me that little

That day my girlfriend gave me that little box, she told me "don't open it till you arrive in Scotland" And so as I landed in Glasgow, I found out the reason she

gave it too me, she knew I liked Ant Farms and Sea Mokeys. In the small package, was an Instant Sea Monster, just add water. Stepping off the plane, I took a cab to Loch Ness.

The cabbie told me his Loch Ness story - everyone has one. I'd give them all something to talk about I thought while sprinkling the whole package of genetically engineered

fish into Loch Ness. Anything that consumed these fish would grow three to four times its size. This would give the locals something to talk about for centuries! Nessie smelled the

the coffee. She'd slowed down in recent years. Sure, when she first got famous Nessie was the Loch Ness Monster. Everything was go go go. But now? She put her feet (flippers) up

on the coffee table and sighed the sigh of a legendary mythical monster time had forgotten. Lighting a Swisher Sweet (don't ask me how), Nessie thought of Sasquatch's throbbing

"man" muscle. She wondered what it would be like to explore his hairy "man"hood in deep waters. She didn't realize that her ponderings and taken her to the surface. She was visible

now and that turned her on even more.To think someone could be seeing her grab "his" manhood on the swampy lake.Hair and skin showing through mud...It made her feel "dirtylicious"!

Swampthing lifted her up and started to lick her all over. The bystanders were sure this was just a prelude to what would surely become a horrific scene. Jenna Jameson started to

laugh. "Oh Swampthing, you can't satisfy me like that! You have to talk dirty, not just smell dirty." Fascinated, Swampthing began grunting pornographically until JJ was spent!