"A New Hampshire police sergeant was fired

"A New Hampshire police sergeant was fired for using funds from his department's uniform account to purchase Ugg slippers as a

holsters for his Glocks. New Hampshire doesn't like fashionista cops. There's a reason they're called "plain clothes officers" and he violated that code. Uggs are best used for

walkin. Cuz that's just what they'll do. One of these days these... anyway, as I was being beaten to a pulp by unfashionable New Hampshire cops, I searched my Uggs for my hidden

Abercrombie brand serrated shoehorn with tactical grip. "Style, and functionality!" I said, finally pulling it out of my incredibly warm, durable, and well-padded Ugg boots.

The boots were all talk saying "Kill Kill Kill" but they just stood there and watched as I did all the work. Now I was in jail and the boots looked stupid without laces and a tung

with the label "Timberland" fully splayed. My buddy visited me in jail. I told him to destroy the boots. He said he would, but he wasn't listening. The boots made you bloodthirsty

and me too. So I couldn't help myself when I drained the poor old bastard. I mean, I drained him to the point where just blowing on him made his body fall apart into nothing but du

sty springs tunes. I find that being a vampire is much easier if you have a bendy straw. I can even suck just a little at a time and they never notice, because Facebook has them

Turned into Zombies. They are 2 wrapped up in games of FarmVille. So, the library computers were a perfect smorgasbord 4 me. I grabbed my straw and went to town. Mmmm Zuckerberg.