"OH YEEEEESSSS!" said the portly Comic Con

"OH YEEEEESSSS!" said the portly Comic Con fan, as he approached a hairy Princess Leah look-alike. "I've got them moob's like Jabba... you wanna touch my belly?"

"Myes of course master Jabba" The faux princess leah put down her chicken thigh and gave his belly a greasy caress. "I'm looking for han, seen him?" Cosplay jabba laughed..

"In the kitchen, slicing the pizza. But I wouldn't go in there," Jabba warned. Leia pursed her lips. "You think I'm only a girl!" As she rose, Jabba glanced beneath her skirt

Leia had had it working at Jabba's Pizza Hut. There was Obi trying to ditch using Jedi mind tricks ("I don't need this") and Jawas were hogging the buffet line. Then Han arrived,

He saw them and he was jelaus. He started to fight with Obi and Jedi.

Obi and Jedi were the names of Geroge Lucas's Chow Chows. Lucas's assistant was so jealous of them. Lucas would kiss those dogs on the mouths, even share food with them but

he drew the line at allowing them to sleep in his bed. Lucas' ornate bedroom was a replica of the bunks on the Millennium Falcon, and he didn't want their muddy paws all over it.

Except for the one in Princess Leia's get-up from Return of the Jedi. Lucas discovered late that smoothly shaven legs did not necessarily denote the gender. By then, he didn't mind

what the hell Steven Spielberg was doing, Lucas just wanted to explore Princess Leia's buns. "I'll bet your 40 million dollars that she uses butter to make them shiney!" Of course,

he had intimate knowledge on that topic - he was the one who had suggested applying butter in the first place. It was his great hope that he may get a chance to apply it himself.