My first anger management class didn't go
- My first anger management class didn't go so well. One of my teeth is gone, along with part of an ear lobe. The police may be looking for me, too. Sheila insisted that I
- be honest about my feelings. So I just let out the pain and humiliation to the Anger Management class. How was I supposed to know they were Steve Jobs wackos. A brawl broke out
- & I was iLynched. They emptied my iTunes & force-download Muskrat love, You light up my life, and Disco Duck, then superglued my in-ear headphones in my ear & played it for 7 days
- straight. By the time the earbuds came out, I was a bell-bottom wearing, peace-loving hippie singing and dancing, flapping my arms and quacking. Who would do this? I began to cluck
- furiously in the direction of the miscreants, running round them in circles, faster and faster until I began to sweat from the effort. I sat heavily upon the ground, and began to
- sob uncontrollably. My feet hurt and those miscreants were laughing at me. I threw a handful of pebbles. "Just let me catch my breath, you are in so much trouble!" They waited.
- I called upon the mer-folk and the watery deep. It didn't help that I was land locked and the only impact was a sort of low tide fish smell. Damn it. I prepared for arcane combat
- and loaded my seashell gun. I shouted, "Let us go cut some flippers!"
- We had a whale of a time. By the time we'd fin-ished, we'd packed all the crabs in there like sardines. But my shellfish partner took all the credit. What abalone!
- But ultimately the scales tipped in my favor, as it was discovered that Sandy Cheeks (his squirrelfriend) was allergic to shellfish. She preferred me! I cod have danced all night.
- Started
- 2012-01-03 13:31:48
- Finished
- 2012-12-02 08:24:45
2 Comments
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PurpleProf Dec 02 2012 @ 08:56
My favorite part? When the miserable quacking hippy threw a handful of pebbles.
SlimWhitman Dec 02 2012 @ 09:33
I liked the catch of salty puns too