you deserve better, I'm telling you that

you deserve better, I'm telling you that you deserve better!
I continued to scream at the dog telling it what it was worthy of.
but he just kept sobbing and saying I'm not worthy of your love. I scooped him up and held him tight. "shhh Im here until the end.
Then I plunged a dagger in his back & held him closer, just like I told him I would. I keep my promises. Then I buried him in plot B74, over there near the weeping willow tree.
That's when the plot thickened. I sat under the tree near his grave to regain my strength. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Then I heard a faint yet rhythmic scratching sound.
It was the sound of Mr. kitty pawing at my heel. "Stop! Mr. Kitty" I said with a squeal, I picked him up then stared at him sternly. "fuck off Mr. kitty" I yelled burping.
The burp was one of those pickled sausage with cherry vanilla affairs. Mr. Kitty hissed and slashed my face. "Ack!" I threw my cat down onto the lawn mower.
Unbeknownst to us, the CDC had cordoned off the house while my cat and I were indulging in gastric pleasures. My feline was adamant that I should ride shotgun on the lawn mower wh
ich we found was out of gas. My cat indicated the tandem bike instead but the poor kitty's feet didn't reach the pedals. I pedalled heroically back to the house which the CDC had t
urned into a level 3 containment facility. Men in biohazard suites shoved him through a double airlock into a special tent. Now I can pet my moggie without fear of toxoplasmosis.

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