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I was waiting for the Minute Clinic for 4

  • I was waiting for the Minute Clinic for 4 hours. It was no big deal, I'm sure the spider was not that poisonous. It gave me time to shop for dinner. Should my hand be this swollen?
  • My hand had gotten so big, I had to drag it behind me. When it was my turn, the nurse handed me the paperwork. I looked at her helplessly, but she had no mercy. 'We can't help you
  • because of insurance companies." My hand was growing and throbbing. The Nurse tried to ignore it. My hand got so big someone sat in it because they thought it was a pink couch
  • - an embarrassing and awkward moment. But, with a smile, I decided not to remove my hand - there's something about a person sitting on your couch-sized, swollen hand that feels so
  • soothing. I found that my sofa-hand was useful at family occasions where extra seating was welcome for elderly or drunk relatives. Sometimes embarrassing when in-law flirting beca
  • me a problem. My father-in-law had a thing for sitting on my sofa hand. He always was a ballsey son-of-a-gun. But, like father like son, right? I scratched him a little, then pull
  • ed pork sandwiches slathered with barbecue sauce would materialize in my free hand. So..scratching my father-in-law's nethers made sandwiches? Was it causality or correlation?
  • Either way, it was revolting and delicious -- the textbook definition of a conundrum. How long would the sandwiches keep? I removed my hand from pappy-in-laws privates, recovering
  • nicely by saying "Sorry. It's just that a black widow was crawling on your lap & I didn't want it to kill you." My father-in-law was so grateful, he gave me his sandwich. I took
  • a bite of tarantula. Then the funnel spider I'd dropped in his shorts sunk its fangs in. We finally quit bickering & bonded in ER. Good thing my wife's an arachnologist.

8 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Dec 16 2013 @ 18:10

    Pretty bizarre how it returns to the origin of the problem at the end. Have we completed the 'sofa of life'?

  2. lucielucie Dec 17 2013 @ 04:51

    They've got a real spider problem in that family!

  3. jayursus Dec 17 2013 @ 15:31

    I'd say a little more than spider problems - roaming hand problems being chief among them!

  4. hamstak Dec 17 2013 @ 18:41

    The hand is the spider of the soul.

  5. lucielucie Dec 18 2013 @ 16:34

    That's deep.

  6. hamstak Dec 20 2013 @ 20:04

    @LucieLucie: Could be, but I have no idea what it means :(

  7. lucielucie Dec 21 2013 @ 05:48

    It's self explanatory, Hamstak. It means that the hand is the spider of the soul. Hope that helps : )

  8. SlimWhitman Dec 21 2013 @ 16:47

    Shall we delve deeper? http://foldingstory.com/hx7eg/

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