Jessie stepped on something. She heard a

Jessie stepped on something. She heard a creaking sound - suddenly they librarys vast book case was toppling upon her, book cascading like a water fall of pages. She screamed. But,

the evil librarian pushing the shelves over only laughed. She hated Jessie. He'd never returned their copy of the novelization of the movie, "Karate Kid." She noticed a book on

a student's head, and quickly snatched it and slapped him across the face with it. "Haven't you animals read Rule 22235 in the Guidebook for appropriate library usage!?"

'RULE 22235: BOOKS ARE FOR GETTING AHEAD, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. It felt good to repeat those lines again. Bridget the librarian had been away for far to long. The abduction

of her sister and the ensuing trek across three continents, not to mention the breakup of a prominent smuggling ring, had left her drained, physically and emotionally. It felt good

to be back among her native Fore people and eat brain after her successful adventure. It was the perfect cover for her activities as CIA agent in Papua

Fritua, the headquarters of the leading french fry manufacturer in Oceania. Her CIA duties soon brought her back there. She received word that the whole spud thing was an elaborate

front for the largest Viagra manufacturer on Earth. It had to be shut down. That was the only way to stop all the old people from doing

each other. There is nothing worse than the slow rhythmic slapping of wrinkled skin on wrinkled skin. Except for smirking grandpas hiding their arousal behind books. Viagra factory

or not, I wasn't about to let them see me watching. I pulled up my pants and hightailed out of there. Thinking back now, I never should have got into that cab at 23rd and Jackson.