I said, "Shamone!" "Shah-mone-ah!" then

I said, "Shamone!" "Shah-mone-ah!" then I rapped my cobra-headed cane against the Gaiaen portal and said, "Heee-heeee!" Thundering and rumbling broke across the wide expanse

of Michaels chest and the exterior shell of the statue shattered. Underneath was a Jackson golem 32 ft tall and completely under the control of my cobra staff. "Shah-mone-ah!"

Now everything was light, shining, trembling, revealing. Everything became possible in the shadow of the golem. Magic, angels, heaven and hell.

They egged me on. "Do it!" I placed the small piece of paper which had the hermetic symbol for life on the forehead of the golem. Pits of ember fired deep it its eyes. "UMM, HELLO?

Farted. He was most proud of the sound and smell. He ran into the barn that the golem had opened for him and kindly said thank you

For the chance to escape so I can fold this story in June 2016. By then the fart smell had obviously been obliterated by opening the windows so neighbours blamed the cows instead.

But I knew they really knew who dealt it. She knew them. They were her and she was them. They were just saving that story for when they needed something from her. Usually cash, but

this time they needed an alibi. "If the cops ask, just say we were with you, Ma," they said. She didn't like it a bit since she had been taking a bath, but she could not refuse.

Columbo pocketed his tape measure & stepped thoughtfully away from the tub. "We're gonna have to reenact this one," he decided. "O.k., o.k! We did it!" The fat lady had sung.