"I drink Champagne like you drink water"

"I drink Champagne like you drink water" boasted Belvedere. "Who are these people?" he quizzed. "They are your fans Sir" said Marchant. "They're unwashed, they disgust me"

"Exactly why they're your fans, you see." Marchant and Belvedere were instantaneously beseiged by torch-wielding "fans" and stampeded into dead pancakes. This is not their saga.

The greatest sagas were told by the Vikings in Iceland about 1000 years ago. They were similar stories to the soap operas we have today except less

silicon. This is why I am creating the Viking Channel. It will be a non-stop, one-stop-shop, 24 hour Viking Cycle. We're talking Sagas, Battle Axe tips, Ransom stories, Valhalla

Inns, and Fala Chen's films. It will be a vivid venture, and people will adore it! They will watch it all day, every day. They will never leave their seats, and will only snack on

foods that begin with P, such as popcorn, pretzels, and pop tarts. Fortunately, there are very many delicious snacks beginning with P, so there will be no uprisings disrupting the

peace of the pickled peppers. Preposterously, one of the pretzels felt prickly with passion for a pandemic, and practised spreading poop on the pickled peppers.

Peter picked the pooped-on peppers and persuaded people to purchase the peppers. People perished because of the peppers. Pandas were pleased

Because they now had food. Living in the suburbs was not easy, and this beat eating cats and dogs! Mr. Panda had four days worth of food for his wife and children, all 5 of them.

It was a rough life, but at least the family was together. It's funny how becoming a panda dad in a panda world changes your perspective on things, like the quality of bamboo.