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"Scared the Hell Out of Me. It Was a Great

  • "Scared the Hell Out of Me. It Was a Great Wake-Up Call (Although I Wasn't Really Asleep)" — Russell H., from Wichita, Kansas.
  • "Action Hits Likes a Sledgehammer to the Forebrain, (Until it Stops)" — Martin T. from Omaha, Nebraska. The reviews or her one woman show, "This is Me, Deal with It" were
  • uninspiring. I think I would rather safety pin my scrotum to my underwear than listen to some divorcee, Rosie O'Donnell look-like demand that I "Deal with" her bitterness at
  • Lindsey Lohan and the human male populous. That's when I left. My mother-in-law was still blathering on and didn't even notice. I shouldn't have left her in Mexico
  • but she was bartering for jaguar penis in a chinatown market in Mexicali & it seemed the perfect opportunity to rid myself of the shamanic old battle ax. I told my wife her mother
  • had a headache and had to take a taxi back to the hotel, when really what I did was hustle my mother-in-law in some back alley in Mexicali, stuffed her in a burlap sack, & sold her
  • on the black market for a small profit. It wasn't about her (although I relished thinking about her as a low-rent geisha), I needed to get the hell out of Mexico and this was how
  • . I slaughtered goats, chewed their skins to soften them and stretched them over a frame of sticks to make a coracle. I launched myself from Acapulco Beach to go where the wind
  • comes rolling down the plain. Yes, I would sail from Acapulco Beach to Enid.....OOOOOOOOOO-KLAHOMA in my coracle. With luck, I'd make it in time to participate in my favorite
  • pastime of interspersing show tunes when you can hear the people singing the songs of angry men in the middle of your first cigarette to your last dying day.
Started
2012-05-26 15:47:07
Finished
2013-04-15 14:42:22

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Zetawilk Apr 15 2013 @ 14:58

    I like how it ends with cancer (cigarettes) and starts with cancer (stand-up "comedy").

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