Hi, I'm fat and addicted to oxycotin. Strange

  • Hi, I'm fat and addicted to oxycotin. Strange because most drug people are thin. Not me, no amount of self-abuse stops my addiction. Actually, I'm getting hungry just thinking

  • about grinding up that delicious pill and sprinkling it onto some bacon pancakes with extra butter. Oxycontin added a little acidity, a lot of mellow and only a pinch of murder

  • Breakfast of champions, I tell you what. So he mounted the threshold to his flat, hiked up his pajama pants, and stepped out into a snowy morning. The opiate cocktail pulsed warm

  • in his veins, & already the snow between his toes sent up a vapor. His pajama pants felt electric against his thighs as a full-bellied hallelujah took root in his nuts & wormed up

  • his spine as he belted out a tune that would rival Aretha Franklin's finest. Pope Benedict loved singing in the shower, thinking about Jake Gyllenhaal's hairy chest as he soaped

  • up his nether regions. But then, he remembered that he was the Pope and chaste and-- ha! Who was he kidding?

  • With those gorgeous, shirtless, Russian male gymnasts, the Holy See drooled more than his octogenarian punum normally allowed. Just then the college of cardinals (okay really pink

  • flamingos with a series of attached shrimp platters) pranced into the parking lot, swinging their beads and chanting their chants like so much rottenness floating back up the drain

  • pipe. Someone from a 2nd floor balcony asked one of the chanters to drop trou for a strand of Mardi Gras beads. Most walked away, but one smiled and spread his feathers to reveal

  • a grotesque, mangled placenta, hanging awkwardly from his stomach. His mother once heard a radio show touting the benefits of "placental continuity." The crowd panicked, terrified.



  1. Euphorium Jan 07 2011 @ 17:36

    A veritable cornucopia of horrors.

  2. kyerinn Jan 07 2011 @ 21:08

    I should not have read this while eating... O.o

  3. RhettOracle Jan 07 2011 @ 22:11

    Props to Davood for the allusions to Aretha, benedict, and Jake!

  4. NixonBlack Jan 10 2011 @ 17:09

    Quiet day on FoldingStory.

  5. kyerinn Jan 10 2011 @ 19:18

    Do you miss us, NixonBlack? :D

  6. NixonBlack Jan 10 2011 @ 19:33

    Yeah! Of course I do :) You're my link to daily creativity!

  7. kyerinn Jan 10 2011 @ 20:15

    Honestly, I feel much the same. :) It keeps us sharp!

  8. NixonBlack Jan 10 2011 @ 20:35

    I'm down to three left unfolded and I'm saving them for tonight. :)

  9. kyerinn Jan 10 2011 @ 21:20

    And THAT'S how you keep the high score! ;)

  10. NixonBlack Jan 10 2011 @ 23:41

    Hahaha, well I'd like to hope that there's some quality there too. Most of my folds are still uncompleted ;)

  11. RhettOracle Jan 10 2011 @ 23:55

    NixonBlack, I don't know whether to congratulate you or console you for finishing that daunting task. :)

  12. NixonBlack Jan 11 2011 @ 01:24

    Really? I thought everyone was doing that.

  13. RhettOracle Jan 12 2011 @ 15:30

    Most of my faves are on this fold, so just wanted to inform that I have switched monikers from "dwe" to "RhettOracle". I like that name a lot more and I shamelessly stole it from a blog I reviewed yesterday. I thought it fit this game famously.

  14. NixonBlack Jan 12 2011 @ 15:32

    Did you create an all new user, or just change your username? I changed mine a while back, but it took a day or so to propagate out to all of my old posts.

  15. kyerinn Jan 12 2011 @ 15:58

    I noticed the change and scanned through my friends to deduce who this was! Now, you just need a picture. ;)

  16. Davodd Feb 18 2011 @ 06:47

    I'm not above name dropping for a chuckle..

  17. RhettOracle Feb 18 2011 @ 07:04

    Sorry, NB, didn't see your question until now. No, just the username, not a new profile. I think I like the new features thus far, but have not spent a lot of time yet to truly get the hang of them.

  18. RhettOracle Feb 18 2011 @ 07:05

    And Kyerinn, yes, I do need a pic of some sort. Although there is something to mysteriousness.

  19. Davodd Feb 19 2011 @ 02:26

    I miss the ability to be able to check up on the status of stories you started yourself.

  20. kyerinn Feb 19 2011 @ 02:47

    It's true, Rhett. You ARE very mysterious. Davodd, maybe you can suggest that to the site.

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