Sister Mary Tarantula woke from her unexpected

Sister Mary Tarantula woke from her unexpected nap. The classroom was deserted and the ruler was missing, but she did not need it. Looking eastward, her eyes narrowed. "Putin." She

thought "If I ever break outta this joint & get knocked up, that's what I'll name my 500 sons" Sister Mary Tarantula sighed. Spiderlings poured into the classroom from recess. "Qu

iet and be seated, spiderlings," said Mrs. Mirkwood. Boys, keep your mandibles to yourself, especially you Webster. I don't think Ms. Muffet wants to share her lunch with you."

Webster the spider always felt trapped by his mother always spun things to suit Ms. Muffet. Webster wanted to cut the apron silk. He would force Ms. Muffet to look in his six eyes

while she was tied to the tuffet with Webster's spider silk until Ms. Muffet was no longer afraid of him. But she'd seen Arachnophobia, that tarantula in Home Alone, and Shelob

ering spider mandibles gave her the wilhelminas. She screeched as Websters spinarettes emitted an intricate sugary cage above her tuffet. It would be Beauty and the Spider

That Little Miss Muffet would compose and be remembered for long after her death at age 99 in 2017. Her spindly script was inspired spider webs. Every Halloween, the story was read

Some said "invoked". The rumored Call To My Spider Lover by Miss Myffete dated St. Sulspice Day 1653 and signed by both Miss Myffete & the Devil in her blood. The clouds in the mar

-ble slab over the spider's gave disappeared as it was revealed that Miss Myffete had made a pact with the Devil to have the spider killed. So was it she that was the murderer, or

was she bewitched the entire time? As it turns out the Devil mischievously planned everything to drive a wedge between humans and arachnids. Ms Myffete's name was cleared.