For some die-hards, the true heartland of

For some die-hards, the true heartland of thrash metal is not the Bay Area, but Germany, home of Toutonic Terrors, Kreator, Sodom, and Destruction.

The thrash metal fandom had grown steadily over the years. The fresh young fans were keen to show their love of thrash metal by travelling in tour groups to Germany.

But Berlin was a ruse; their true destinations were Oslo, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Helsinki. They had graduated from thrash to Scandanavian death metal, but were too embarrassed to

admit their true feelings to each other. The touring, band chasing after these death metal bands was a way to escape their feelings. This just occurred to her as Oslo came into vie

W. The local grocery store advertised Lutfisk for Christmas 2016. It took four years to wake up the Lutfisk to their scamming by the traditionalists who didn't notice the creeping

ly wierd swede who managed the store. He was one of those witches driven from the homeland by the Walpürgisfires. The Lutfisk was cursed. When Frank brought one home for Christmas

his father had a conniption. "How can you choose to marry a cursed lutifisk in secret and then present her off as your bride to us on Christmas morning?!" And with that his father

stormed off in a huff, clutching his head in his hands. "You never once think about anyone other than yourself! And do you see where it's gotten us? I'll tell you:

We're stuck here with our heads on pikes on Christmas Eve when we could have been home drinking ourselves stupid before the fire. At least we would have been warm." The snow began

to melt when Satan pulled a huge knife switch and the coiled electric heating elements surrounding them began to radiate their infernal broiling heat upon their heads.