My psychology project was to interview people

My psychology project was to interview people appearing in viral videos so I sought out the kid who said "I like turtles". This is a transcript of my interview. Me: "Hi Jonathan".

"Jonathan: I like turtles." The rest of the interview was dead air. I went on to interview the man who only said, "Yes." and a woman who barked. "Q: How are you doing?" "A: Ruff."

"Q: So, what do you do for a living?" "A: Woof." I turned to the man next to her. "Q: And you sir?" "A: Yes." "Q: Are you, in fact, a pink princess?" "A: Yes" "Q: You're no fun

Tiring of this line of questioning, I got up and stomped out the door. The pathetic losers followed me, so I had to escape. Jumping into a passing Ice Cream Truck, I punched out

the "turbo" button, but this was an old truck and the wiring was...creative. Out blared that sound that is the pied piper of children everywhere. I hit the gas as

I mashed past Inglewood, little kids swarming behind in the exhaust of my retrofitted Chevy small block. The fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror always

reminded me of Uncle Newt's gambling woes. What an idiot. He thought card counting was what Number Two did in "Austin Powers," so he wore an eye patch and tried to get x-ray vision

monocle. He wanted to see through everything but with only ONE eye, so he

her phone ready, with 911 on speed dial. 'Just wait a bit longer." she said as the pain began to travel all over his body. And within moments, he died, and 911 was finally called.