She sat in her car. Red light. No one was

She sat in her car. Red light. No one was watching. She hooked her finger into her nose and smiled at her topnotch nose swag. It was one of those have gooey with a crusty shell

mixed with peanuts and chocolate. She had started small with regular m&m's, then with cookie centers, then peanuts, straight up her nose. Soon she'd graduate to the pretzel kind

that were favored by participants of the Special Olympics. She even had the pit stains bleached out of her favorite white body suit for the occasion. Her sole concern was

the smell of napalm emanating from it. The woman dressed in the spermatozoan costume would have to

have the tail of it, at least, dry-cleaned before the Festersburg Fertility Days Parade & Fun-faire. She loved playing a sperm at these public gatherings. The 50-foot ovum would be

do the chicken dance with both the world's shortest and tallest men, and then would take off in a lighter-than-air-balloon and tour the orient. The first one to Bang-Cock

would win 7 nights at the Bangkok Sheraton, and a tour of the city's Red Light District. I got second, all I won was a shitty motel on the outskirts of the city, infected with

Elvis impersonators. Apparently there was a karaoke contest in the Hotel and every middle-aged Thai with "sideburns" had entered. After hearing "Ruv me tenda" the umpteenth time I

decided to give it a go.My rendition of Tutty-Frutty was so memorable that,from the hallway,between neverending aplause I heard the announcer say:-Elvis has left the building!