Pete had been turned into a sparrow by an

  • Pete had been turned into a sparrow by an evil witch at the center of the Gargoyle Maze. That was 10 years ago. He's still a sparrow. He dive bombs kids on the way to school

  • dropping sparrow bombs on their Trapper Keepers and eating trash. Until one day, George who had been turned into a pelican by the evil witch came up and told Pete the sparrow "Hey,

  • Pete, I need to get the peeps together. But don't tell bunny. Have everyone meet me behind the HiLo at 3, and be sure to bring the duct tape, blanket, and kitty litter.

  • At 3 Pete arrived with his peeps. He said,"Here's the duct tape and kitty litter. I couldn't find a blanket. Also, we have a problem. Bunny knows.".

  • "If we pull this off even dad will be impressed. We go ahead with operation Kitty Cull as planned!, said Ben leader of the Rabbit Gang. Peter Rabbit and the gang improvised a trap

  • This trap will be the ultimate dad-impresser! We set the trap, and waited for him to come by. He stepped nearer, which is when we realized we actually bought the dad-oppressor.

  • Unfortunately, we couldn't return it so our dad opened it, looked at the box, and asked what the hell this was. He had to assemble the parts, but never did. It was donated to the

  • Glorification of Onan exhibit at the University of Lowered Expectations's Skidmore branch. There it sat for 22 years until one night a entering freshman discovered the pit of

  • despair, said "Princess Buttercup! MOWAGE!"

  • Sp Princess Buttercup mowed off most of her beautiful golden locks and gave herself a mohawk. She sold her carriage and bought a Harley. No longer did she know despair, only glory.



  1. Woab Sep 03 2016 @ 12:17

    Your line cracked me up, Futique!

  2. LordVacuity Sep 04 2016 @ 21:58

    Sorry. I was already cracked before I wrote it.

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