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Halfway down the aisle I remembered. "Say,

  • Halfway down the aisle I remembered. "Say, could you tell me where the lime juice is?" The guy stocking shelves said, "On one ..." It lingered in my mind like an unstarted melody

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  • On one, I repeated to myself until I got to the aisle. I walked down the aisle, attentively looking at the shelves for lime juice. I screamed, in one of the shelves was a human eye

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  • Asking me what I needed. I said lime juice and was told where to go. There was another human eye watching me and I screamed again. Mr.Roboto asked what he could help me with.

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  • Roboto was of course the nicknamed given to the town freak. See, he was the only one in the village with the new Monocular Eye Replacement. A government testing project gone wrong

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  • in the worst possible way. His full nickname was Domo Arigato Misuta Roboto but he didn't care. With his new eye he was now unstoppable. The townspeople would pay dearly for teasi

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  • ng him for his love of opera, and they would learn what happens when you mess with an insecure robot. Impatiently, he began to

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  • tear their heads off with his robot arms as he sang "L'amour est un oiseau rebelle" from the opera "Carmen". That would teach them to mock the classics. But bad things also happen

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  • if one mistakenly sings Carmen in falsetto. 2008 Financial crisis? Falsetto Carmen. Nixon? Falsetto Carmen. Bill Buckner's '86 WS error? Falsetto Carmen. Still, the classics should

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  • be accompanied by Falsetto Carmen but who should he be seated with? The Duchess of Colon was the only still unpaired lady but she was to much below his station it would be unseemly

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  • He ruminated, should he deign to associate with the Mistress of Misentery? The Crohny Countess of Colic? He was gutsy, taking a seat next to her daughter, the Princess of Polyps!

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