I was doing roller blading in the park ,

I was doing roller blading in the park , SUDDENLY, I SAW ONE OF MY FRIEND. HE ASKED ME' RAHUL HOW IS THE WEATHER ? IT IS SCORCHING HEAT , IN THIS HEAT I MAY GET SUN BURN AND ....

He spontaneously combusted. I pirouetted on my roller blades and high-tailed out of there. Above me the sun's heat seemed hotter. That's when I saw the magnifying glass

floating over my head, held by a giant well-manicured hand. Wherever I skated, the magnifying glass followed. Sniff, sniff...What's that smell?! Singed hair. I tried ducking under

a table at a sidewalk cafe. More hands with magnifying glasses swooped down to follow people. I skated away yelling, "run! It's the Dept of Homeland Security, or FEMA, or something

dumber. I continued to skate away and realize no one was following me. I smelled my pits: fine. I smelled my breath: passable. Then I saw it. Right in the middle of my chest was a

n overripe piece of durian. I tried to flick it off while holding my nose and lost my balance, flying into the Swedish restaurants dumpster filled with uneaten Surströmming.

When I ended up at the bottom of the dumpster I discovered the Surströmming was quickly changing from the uneaten state to that of eaten as the dumpster was filled with cats. I tri

Ed to fold this line with a poker face but my cat rescued me from being too serious. I became a cat and escaped the blue plague. Now I am a tortoiseshell tabby. Great blessings are

now found in the forms of a plate of tuna and a warm spot on top of the fridge, far out of the reach of the family dog. From here I survey my fragile kingdom with a jaundiced eye.

"It seems Felix has hepatitis," said Dad. Had I gone too far? "We need to put him down." O.k. I'm usurped. I distracted them with my flipped eyelid routine as I backed out the door