I was sitting in my office when I heard "Alalaaahhhhh"

I was sitting in my office when I heard "Alalaaahhhhh" from somewhere. I looked out the window only to see a airplane fling scaringly low. I ran down the stairs yelling to everyone

get outside and take a look at this airplane that is flying low. Is it a plane, an automobile, or is it a crazy person?

Ah. That low-flying object was Clark on the red Kryptonite again. How many times would I have to save his bacon? I was getting tired of this. I was going to take all his Red, and

make some green. But I needed to find a way to generate some cash. Sell T-Shirts? Sell hot dogs? Sell myself on the street corner? No, the best idea would be to sell those little

drink umbrellas to kids. They were like crack, just like the little swords you skewer cherries with that kids never got in their drinks. It was better & tastier than prostitution

on a stick. Then Abe stood up and said, "Let's not forget clove cigarettes! How great was that, a nice, Christmas smelling tobacco product. The kids loved it." Then Bob put a candy

cigar in a passing childs' mouth. The child spat it out and started crying. "See? The kids love it!" shouted Bob, beaming at everyone. There was an awkward silence. Then suddenly

the child grew to ten times his normal size and grabbed Bob, shaking him about wildly in the air. Bob screamed for help, but

only blood bubbled out of his mouth. The giant child lost grip on Bob and he collided head first with a wall. Something warm and wet was creeping down his neck--then he remembered

the arsenic coated pacifier in his back pocket. The blood now filled his eyes as he groped for the deadly dummy. "Here kid . . .Suck on this!" he said as the giant reached out..