In the Outback under an inky sky filled with

In the Outback under an inky sky filled with perilously bright stars glowing overhead I rediscovered the fear of the unknown. The hairs on my nape stood up. Were we being watched?

Ayers rock was silhouetted against the midnight horizon. The low thrum of digerdoos wafted in the air. A soft rumble surrounded our campsite. Bruce whispered "Kangeroo Stampede."

He continued, "Stay low. Don't challenge them, and watch out for the dingoes." We huddled behind a rock as the 'roos hopped past. Suddenly, Bruce stood, raising his

huge wood.. bat and proceeded to whack an oncoming kangaroo straight across it's face. The animal, with it's jaw smashed in, gave a loud pitiful whine which alerted it's mates, who

gave its smashed jaw to its cellmate, who appreciated its white color, its decorative cracked pattern, its simplicity and its only partial usefulness as a gift. Its day was ruined,

when the lights flickered. They'd fried ted. Now he would never know the secret of underglazing. He'd been working on a ceramic neck that had been shanked for the instillation

of purest dread within any who looked upon it, but without that underglazing, it would never reach its true potential. The lights flickered again, and he knew he didn't have long

before the flock of pink flamingos emerged from the claypot. They bewildered their beholders with the elegance of standing on one leg. The salmon color of their wings was hard to

lick off, but Rodina knew how to use her tongue, especially on a flamingo. Her scathing voice, "Directah, get me anothah vodka with a twist" as she licked salt off a lime before

downing the shot in 1 go. Turned out vampires and vodka don't get along very well. It took just 19 minutes before nothing but ashes was all that remained of Rodina.