The humming bird buzzed my head, lifting

The humming bird buzzed my head, lifting a small tuft of hair. Being damn near bald, that meant he had come real close. I just wanted to refill the feeder. Cute but annoying, Like

the beeping of a fire alarm in a vacant house that was hard=wired into its electricity. My hair was the wire and the hummer was the electricity sending jolts of joy down my spine

The middle-aged housewife clicked her tongue and put down the Mills and Boon novella. "The metaphors are just silly these days." She decided to re-read an old favourite of hers,

Kafka's Metamorphosis. She loved bugs. Most of her weekly reading group had voted for the Joy Luck Club. Her picks were dangerous and must be stopped. Knocking her door, they

politely invited themselves in and closed the door behind them. Nobody heard the screams. The next week, book club went on as usual, though Susan's copy of Joy Luck Club was

missing chapters 8 and 9. "How could Penguin Group allow mistakes like this to happen?" she thought, clearly disappointed that she was unable to read the integral plot twist where

Katie Price divorces her then husband, Peter Andre. "This is a travesty" she said to herself. "You try and read some decent literature other than OK Magazine and this happens"

But decent literature has a way of ruining life. It seeps into your thoughts and makes everything ridiculous. It plunges you into a circus of insanity and you feel like, why

bother reading good literature when there are other choices, like Eden Wood’s autobiography “From Cradle to Crown” and Glen Beck’s “The Christmas Sweater”? I should

suggest to Kindle that they call especially crappy e-books "Kindlings" because hard copies would get burned... I downloaded "L.A. Candy" by Lauren Conrad and started reading.