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With my mind's eye focused on the idea that

  • With my mind's eye focused on the idea that an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually create a work of Shakespeare I set about assembling
  • a to-scale model of the Andromeda Galaxy with legos. "It's like guess and check, but without the check," I contemplated as I positioned a red brick for the G76 star cluster.
  • Then Sid my older brother came over and said, "Nice Lego, scale replica of Andromeda Galaxy, but check this out. Skis with afterburners." A lego-man with two flat, single pieces an
  • noyed the hell out of me. 'You think you're smart? Huh? You think you're smart? Huh?' Due to my COD I have to repeat all my sentences twice. It's tedious, but I'm kind of used to
  • it. I just don't pay attention the first time I say a sentence, which results in some pretty funny COD moments. Like when I told Trump I took all his casino's money. What said was
  • "Ha ha! I COD all your money!" when what I meant was "Ha ha! I won all your money!" Trump didn't get it, though. He just thought I had a bad cold. I like confusing people with my
  • kick-ass 80's breakdancing moves while discussing the best places to invest considering the tax ramifications of Obama's second term. About the only person that really understands
  • my bank account are the Swiss, and the Rastafarians down in the Caymans, oh yeah, and my mattress. So, I'm in my house, watching the beta-tape "How to TICK like a champion" and I
  • hear a knock at the door. I get up from the couch and find it is the judges from my recent box ticking competition. Apparently, I didn't come second I won first place with my
  • ululating lung and undulating hernia. They asked me to do "the trick" again, but then my hernia fell all the way out. I woke up to "Daisy, Daisy" being sung over. Just those words.

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