With my mind's eye focused on the idea that

With my mind's eye focused on the idea that an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually create a work of Shakespeare I set about assembling

a to-scale model of the Andromeda Galaxy with legos. "It's like guess and check, but without the check," I contemplated as I positioned a red brick for the G76 star cluster.

Then Sid my older brother came over and said, "Nice Lego, scale replica of Andromeda Galaxy, but check this out. Skis with afterburners." A lego-man with two flat, single pieces an

noyed the hell out of me. 'You think you're smart? Huh? You think you're smart? Huh?' Due to my COD I have to repeat all my sentences twice. It's tedious, but I'm kind of used to

it. I just don't pay attention the first time I say a sentence, which results in some pretty funny COD moments. Like when I told Trump I took all his casino's money. What said was

"Ha ha! I COD all your money!" when what I meant was "Ha ha! I won all your money!" Trump didn't get it, though. He just thought I had a bad cold. I like confusing people with my

kick-ass 80's breakdancing moves while discussing the best places to invest considering the tax ramifications of Obama's second term. About the only person that really understands

my bank account are the Swiss, and the Rastafarians down in the Caymans, oh yeah, and my mattress. So, I'm in my house, watching the beta-tape "How to TICK like a champion" and I

hear a knock at the door. I get up from the couch and find it is the judges from my recent box ticking competition. Apparently, I didn't come second I won first place with my

ululating lung and undulating hernia. They asked me to do "the trick" again, but then my hernia fell all the way out. I woke up to "Daisy, Daisy" being sung over. Just those words.