Bail was set at $100,000. I was facing life

Bail was set at $100,000. I was facing life in prison. I admit, I made a mistake, but why is touching a sleeping woman on a plane have such strict penalties?

I mean, it all took place under the crappy Delta blanket. After this whole incident, the flight attendant wouldnt even give me any of the cookies. You know, the Delta cookies?

Those cookies that have an almondy flavor with a VERY mild hint of banana? The monkey that I stowed in my pants for the flight was getting angry at the thought of not getting one.

Before I knew it he was trying to fight his way out - punching and kicking and biting! So, I turned to the guy next to me and said it has a mind of its own.

When the doctor came in, he said it was time for delivery. I was hoping to get some major pain meds without the need to stick a needle in my back.

"Wow, you do look big. Is this your first time having a baby?" I nodded my head between the searing pain. The doctor clapped his hands. "Me too, where are those salad tongs?"

me in the face and thats when i decided that im only eleven so i should go give my pet unicorn a walk

my unicorn was so exited when we were going for a walk at one point i lost my unicorn

when it went down the most boring alley imaginable, as it turned out. Meanwhile I went through worry, anger, abandonment, despair, internet frenzy, and grief. But it did return ...