Lawyers roll down the hill listnening to

  • Lawyers roll down the hill listnening to those parliament walls crashing and clanging and making a darned pest of themselves. Arghhh!!!!

  • My ankle!!!! screamed one of the lawyers. He sued the owner of the hill, Parliamentarian Alice Bancroft, for failure to warn trespassers of the steepness of said hill. The clanging

  • of justice rang the day the injured lawyer won. "I hope you'll think twice next time before seducing me with your eye sex & forcing me to hurt my ankle" he said to Alice. Death was

  • Knocking at the door, carrying its own vodka. Death served it in jiggers to everyone, then left the bottle in the pantry. Alice's mum asked her daughter where this vodka came from.

  • Alice asked The Hatter to read the label of the unknown vodka. Death Proof vodka was the only thing on the label. "It doesn't say where it comes from", asked Alice. When he checked

  • the label, all the Hatter could make out was, "M-m-made in...New York City..." "NEW YORK CITY!?" said the suddenly outraged crowd behind Alice and the Hatter. "That ain't Pace Peca

  • -nte Sauce!" "Curiouser and curiouser!" said Alice as she and the Hatter fled through what appeared to be the opening title sequence of 'CHiPs', dodging and sweating bullets.

  • "She's been shot!" the Hatter screamed to anyone who would listen down at Wonderland General's ER. The janitor finally lay Alice down on a bed & administered an IV of bourbon shots

  • but it was too late. Alice was dead. An autumn later the Hatter found himself alone, falling into madness. Wracked with guilt over the events that had transpired that evening, he

  • Found himself reliving that tea party over and over, wondering just where it had all gone wrong. The doormouse played along and hoped Hatter never, ever remembered the truth.



  1. Woab Dec 19 2019 @ 14:59

    Alice through the Shot Glass

  2. IceSquad Dec 22 2019 @ 14:02

    She needs to avoid the breathalyzer at the Pearly Gates…

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