People say I'm weird but I love to eat all

People say I'm weird but I love to eat all the chocolate off a Three Musketeers. With melted chocolate all over my fingers I....

walk out of the bathroom. I had a meeting with a Shiite Muslim soon so I ate a quick shiitake sandwich, gave myself a shiatsu massage and put a collar on my shih tzu, who had just

who had jackshitz puppies with my shitty she mut, Sheena. But enough of this shit on to how my manly meeting with my Muslim main man made me more than most men or wo-men.

I'm so sorry. I've been high on speed and meth, and coke and probably some other things tooo. I can never remember exactly what I put in my cocktails. But I'm sure I was delightful

companionship all night and late into the morning, possibly until early afternoon. I'm certain I was witty & charming every single second, becoming more & more entertaining as the

enebrium expanded to fill the empty spaces in my noggin. I extrapolated what happened later based on the part I could remember using the three laws of intoxication: 1)

Thou shalt not have another drink if thou has been drinking all night all ready. 2) If the floor is spinning, sit down, and 3) If you think you need to crawl home, start now. I had

to take another sip before finishing. *Slurp* 4) If you know anyone, call and ask them for a ride home. 5) If the words won't come, try online. 6) If you feel queasy, find

Doctor from the Masonic Lodge and look at your horoscope. 10) don't listen to the news on the tellie, its smoke and mirrors. 11) Hide in your room and shut the lights off. Sleep!