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Nigel liked to watch. Growing up with Bride

  • Nigel liked to watch. Growing up with Bride of Frankenstein, The Godfather & the Thing from Another World, he had a rather distorted idea of human relations, so when his caretaker
  • suggested that they tinker with the lawn mower that afternoon, Nigel was pretty excited. This would be his first lesson in manhood. "Next week," his caretaker continued, "I'll show
  • you how to BBQ using a propane grill. Playing with fire would be a step up from reassembling a combustion engine. Nigel hoped the caretaker would
  • bugger off so he could focus all of his rapt attention on the items at hand: propane, flames, steak, seasoning, smoke, and anticipation. He slowly inhaled the delicate aroma rising
  • from the flames. "Well ah be tarred and feathered if this ain't gonna be one HELL-uva dag gone steak!" he yee-ha'd. Just then he saw what he reckoned was a smirk on a nearby cow or
  • other bovine-like critter. As I chewed the steak, the nearby hooved heathen's smile grew more and more menacing. Then I realized that the steak in my maw was squeaking like a
  • rubber ducky. I looked down on my plate instead of a steak there was the remains of my childhood rubber ducky. I spit out the piece of vinyl or whatever rubber duckies are made of.
  • I wondered to myself, brow furrowed in confusion. How could I have made such a mistake, eaten my favorite toy and my only friend.
  • Now I was on the run from the police for plushiecide.They had found my fingerprints and traces of stuffing at the crime scene, so I had to flee deep into the Himalayas. Oh
  • what fun it was to flee from a one-horse plushie slaying. Over the hills I went, laughing all the way.
Started
2015-03-12 19:42:05
Finished
2018-12-29 03:19:41

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    KieferSkunk Dec 29 2018 @ 03:22

    This is another one of those slow descents into madness that I love so much. :)
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 29 2018 @ 05:50

    I was imagining someone who was raised only on TV like in "Being There". Not surprising it spiraled into madness.
  3. Avatar

    ValkyrieGrrl Jan 01 2019 @ 12:03

    Seemed a lot like some dreams I've had...

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