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PIMP MY BUS!

  • PIMP MY BUS!
  • said pastor Mike. The United Methodist Youth League bus now had spinners, sub-woofers, LED undercarriage lights, and adjustable shocks. The cherry powder paint job
  • had been disgustingly marred by a key job gone nasty. The United Methodist Youth League's bus had been defaced. Pastor Mike and the kids were on a hunt for "Those sorry sons of
  • satan". Satan's sons were actually nowhere near the bus and sued for defamation. The lawsuit was thrown out due to lack of evidence. Pastor Mike still claimed, three years later,
  • whether it was their God given mission or not, those Satan boys were still bad news. Pastor Mike ranted at them not to invite the Satan boys or their father to any birthday party.
  • They asked Pastor Mike what was so wrong with the Satan boys. He thought hard but couldn’t think of anything but their supreme evilness. So they invited them to the birthday party.
  • & there was not one, but two birthday cakes. It was a test, Pastor Mike whispered to me."If the Satan boys go 4 the angel food cake, there's hope.But if they eat the devil's food
  • cake, then the ghosts of Duncan Hines and Betty Crocker will rise from their graves and batter our eardrums with their banshee screams." But Pastor Mike was nuts and the Satan boys
  • were satanic. Dessert rituals were normal in the Hines and Crocker families: icing enemas and cream cheese lubricants, but this was more sinister. Necrophiliac cupcakes sinister.
  • You ask "How sinister can a cupcake be? Plenty buster! Hornus Hines arranged the cupcakes to look like Cremona Crocker & plowed them at midnite.9 mos later the doe began to rise...
Started
2014-02-25 09:11:06
Finished
2019-12-03 18:03:39

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Jimbeau Dec 03 2019 @ 18:22

    Slim...LOL. I can't stop laughing. That is a classic ending!
  2. Avatar

    TarotGuy Dec 03 2019 @ 18:24

    The most amazing thing about this story has got to be Pastor Mike. That guy has staying power to last seven folds!
  3. Avatar

    Woab Jan 01 2020 @ 16:12

    Currently Top Story This Month! Happy New Year!
  4. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jan 01 2020 @ 17:08

    Top story of the decade is what I hear.
  5. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jan 01 2020 @ 17:11

    Speaking relatively.

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