As i walked out of my house, i realized that

As i walked out of my house, i realized that no one was around, i walked further down the street to confirm my suspicion. I was the last man on earth.

Suddenly I hear a woman's voice. 'Look it's a man."Pointing at me with a crowd of women behind her. The women then proceed to chase me with hunger eyes.

I hate the life I've had to live. I wished for this i know but that damn genie twisted my words and now women litteraly hunger for me. Why did I have to be such a guy.

I thought having women chase me like in those Axe commercials would be fantastic, but now that I'm living that twisted dream it's become a nightmare. I round the corner, thinking I

threw them off my scent. I outlined a decoy path with the Axe deodarant stick. Time for my next trick. From my murse, I unfolded a cardboard cutout of Bieber, placing it by the cor

nicopia that I had picked up on the east coast. But the cardboard cutout of Bieber created a worse situation. Now kids were running up to me and asking if they could take a selfie

of themselves inside the little cardboard house I had made from a refrigerator box in my garage. No, I said, no, you cannot. Boundaries should be respected. The kids went off surly

because they hated me. I laughed as they walked away. My work here was complete. The kids gave me one last look of anger and stormed off, literally, as lightning crashed down.

I laid the cold wet corpses of my sorrows on the bar, but Lucy struggled to drown hers, bawling uncontrollably. Then she stumbled to the security check and made jokes about bombs.