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"PORRT SIYDE! WE GOT A WHALE!" Yelled Phil

  • "PORRT SIYDE! WE GOT A WHALE!" Yelled Phil as the space whale struck our ship and knocked us on course to the asterisk asteroids.
  • The captain quickly veered the ship starboard, trying to turn the primed cannons towards the space whale, but the space whale was much too fast.
  • The whale's name was called Mike. Mike was a sprinter whale.
  • He was the fastest beached whale on this beach of a beach sprinting for the waves. Mike had a loping gait. He was the Usain Bolt of the cetacean world.
  • Can we pause a moment to consider why nature is in such a rush? Thank you. Now, on your 3x5 index card, jot down three more comparisons for the creatures in the tidepool.
  • A tiny rock is very similar to a small stone & vice versa. A pure soul is as transparent as a little shrimp. The tidepool creatures pondered these until a red anemone unfurled hers
  • elf and fled. This in turn caused quite a hubbub among the urchins who set themselves to vigorous debate over the specifics of her departure. "No you daft wanker, she obviously
  • Was drunk. She shouldn't have driven home. Now she has six DUIs. The police yanked her license and put her in jail. It was a slam dunk. She also killed a pedestrian." I stopped
  • and set down my beer on the table. "Why are you telling me this, dad?" my 10 year old son asked me. "Because one day you're going to get wasted at a party and you'll have a decisio
  • n to make. You'll try to sit at a picnic table in an enchanted forest, and despite all the things I have done wrong in our lives, I hope you will request a coaster for your beer."
Started
2016-01-13 14:43:03
Finished
2016-09-11 16:25:04

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Crazydance Sep 12 2016 @ 01:13

    Never in the seven stars, have I seen so much wisdom in a tale told by a drunk.
  2. Avatar

    Magic Sep 12 2016 @ 02:31

    You're not a decent person if you don't use a coaster, haha.
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Sep 12 2016 @ 12:57

    Funny, I read ambikawolf's line as "She was a slam drunk". Nice fnish, Blasted. Father's all want their fine young son's to be acoasted one day.
  4. Avatar

    Dhanithecat Sep 12 2016 @ 20:25

    I had a friend who drives drunk despite DUIs. I quit hanging out with her.
  5. Avatar

    Magic Sep 12 2016 @ 23:08

    @ambikawolf - Wow, that's no good. I wouldn't want a friend like that either.

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