Once upon a time there was a pickle named

Once upon a time there was a pickle named Kyle who went to a school of Cucumbers.

The Cucumber School was very strict! Drugs were not allowed on campus especially the dreaded "Ale-gar. It had ruined almost as many alumni as the horrid Frenchie style Vine-gar.

A sweet pickle bus drove the kids to the Cucumber school. It was a real hot house. There were even English ones that would peel down to skivvies. They were bad seeds and had

started spending too much time outside the School for Troubled Squash just down the road. A particularly daring 12 yr-old English Cucumber was stabbed by an older AcornSquash after

butchering "Build Me Up, Butternut," a song that was near and dear to the AcornSquash's heart. You see, the first time he had heard that song was on a date with, well, a Date named

Figaro. Figaro came from a mixed background, his parents always said he was 100% theirs but other plants wondered about his family tree. AcornSquash never questioned his dear

father OakTree for what he did to his mother Summer Squash, but deep down inside he suspected that he was an abomination, and he never really knew how he was realted to Figaro.

Fucking Figaro. Castle so goddamn far from the taxed peasants. In the middle of a fucking desert. Piece of shit Figaro. As the first Native American PM of Figaro, Ountoxed's

of potatoes. When the whole planet turned yellow, Ountoxed realized he'd made a mistake when everybody died of famine and he would never be able to paint the Potato-eaters.