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"Helloooo Newman!" says Jerry as Newman barges

  • "Helloooo Newman!" says Jerry as Newman barges through his apartment door. "Did you hear what happened Jerry?"
  • "How can I do it?Dear, I have no Idea what you are talking about"said Newman perspiring heavily.
  • I listned to Newman's explanation while untying the knot in the rope around my wrists. It all seemed so surreal. I tried to reconstruct the course of events that had led me to this
  • situation. Me and some of the guys from work had gone out for drinks after work on Thursday. My friend Jeffrey suggested this hip new place where everyone wore leather and
  • spandex, and the mixed drinks could really mess you up. Jeffrey always picks the best new bars, so I went along with it. Now we're married, I've got a headache that won't fade, and
  • we're on the run for crimes which I haven't got the details on. Something about spandex not mixing with Guido Pastrani's show at the Quintenscence. Jeff my hubbie of late says
  • a bottle is just a bottle, that no one would ever notice me. Jeff really knew how to push my buttons. One day I snapped. Guido was speeding up the street
  • in his speedos on his Vespa. I waved him down & jumped on behind him. "DRIVE!" I commanded angrily. "ANYWHERE!" Guido & I made it to San Jose. I left Jeff behind, FOREVER.
  • Jeff stood behind the cloud of dust left by their bike, urgently waving a pair of pants, which the absentminded moron on the Vespa had forgotten. He now had to chase him & his ex
  • Coworker at whole foods, to get his Vita-mix smoothie maker back. It only cost him $500.00! Once you started making ginger - carrot smoothies, you were literally addicted.

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