"Helloooo Newman!" says Jerry as Newman barges

"Helloooo Newman!" says Jerry as Newman barges through his apartment door. "Did you hear what happened Jerry?"

"How can I do it?Dear, I have no Idea what you are talking about"said Newman perspiring heavily.

I listned to Newman's explanation while untying the knot in the rope around my wrists. It all seemed so surreal. I tried to reconstruct the course of events that had led me to this

situation. Me and some of the guys from work had gone out for drinks after work on Thursday. My friend Jeffrey suggested this hip new place where everyone wore leather and

spandex, and the mixed drinks could really mess you up. Jeffrey always picks the best new bars, so I went along with it. Now we're married, I've got a headache that won't fade, and

we're on the run for crimes which I haven't got the details on. Something about spandex not mixing with Guido Pastrani's show at the Quintenscence. Jeff my hubbie of late says

a bottle is just a bottle, that no one would ever notice me. Jeff really knew how to push my buttons. One day I snapped. Guido was speeding up the street

in his speedos on his Vespa. I waved him down & jumped on behind him. "DRIVE!" I commanded angrily. "ANYWHERE!" Guido & I made it to San Jose. I left Jeff behind, FOREVER.

Jeff stood behind the cloud of dust left by their bike, urgently waving a pair of pants, which the absentminded moron on the Vespa had forgotten. He now had to chase him & his ex

Coworker at whole foods, to get his Vita-mix smoothie maker back. It only cost him $500.00! Once you started making ginger - carrot smoothies, you were literally addicted.