I drew the robe tightly about me and settled

  • I drew the robe tightly about me and settled down for a nice long nap. But the robe was not a robe. It was a piece of military technology designed to kill me. Awwwkwwarrdd....
  • because I was strong with the force. My robe was part of my Jedi uniform, so even if it killed me it only made me powerful than anyone could ever imagine.
  • I pretended to be Luke Skywalker growing up and wore Darth Vader Halloween costumes. It was the fashion. Being young, you wanted to be cool.
  • i don't want to be cool now that I am old. I want to be the stick in the mud; the bone fragment in your burger. These days I just want to be the Emperor until somebody's father thr
  • ows a dubstep party upon which I will rain a Kuiper blast of meteoric vitriol upon their indolent yuppies until every last ear drum ruptures. Now that I am old, I want to be old.
  • I want to wear my trousers rolled, eschew peaches, and welcome the dying of the light. But society keeps demanding that I try to be young. Commercials for wrinkle creams and
  • adult diapers are sending me conflicting messages. Why do I wish I had been ragged talons scraping on the ocean's sawdust covered floor? Because I can't take watching another comme
  • dia dell’arte performance! I wanted to move to the Theatre of the Absurd: Pinter! Ionesco! Beckett! Trump! However, the best I could do was find a couple of grubby hand puppets and
  • do pantomime on the West Bank in Paris. The hand puppets limited me in trying to convey the existential dread of the Zeitgeist. They could shrug their shoulders because they didn't
  • have a future unless they took the reins themselves.


  1. Col.Lingus Nov 10 2022 @ 02:14

    You're not the elephant from that story …

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