Now I've heard there was a secret chord that

Now I've heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord.

Now I heard this chord that pleased the lord that David player. Not so much. God has bad taste in music.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" sang David as he played his lord-pleasing chord. "Ugh" Moaned the crowd "Boring!". God, who was enjoying the show, was mightily offended and

This was David's problem all through his life - he scores ONE lucky strike against a giant, gets made King and all of a sudden he thinks everything he does should be lauded. God

decided to call out to David: "David!" "Yes?" "David, you are talking to yourself!" "You are thinking." "I am thinking?" "Yes, yes, I am thinking!" Thought!

Three years later, David wrote his memoirs and mentioned this episode was what triggered him to start a rehabilitation centre for those who suffer from

explosive rainbow farts, an extremely serious condition that affects millions of people in the world.

Most people who have it go under the radar because the majority of the people are already programmed to see what they don't want to see. Anything that hasn't been prescribed by The

Man is probably generic and works just as well for less money. So remember folks, don't listen to The Man. Listen to The Other Man, or maybe That Lady Over There. They know best.