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Floating toilets to bring humans safely to

  • Floating toilets to bring humans safely to outer space were invented in the year 2014.

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  • The commode-commuter spacecrafts were all the rage. Inventor Bert Bumrun developed special wiper blades which hardly ever malfunctioned even when plummeted by loads of

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  • loads. The commode-commuter powered by poop was to save the world unfortunately with the amount of farts that came through them Green house gases were at an all time high. So we

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  • Hired Elsie the Cow and her family to help out. Virtual reality dictated that they not change a thing. Al Gore begged her to help by farting less but she told him to get lost, NOW.

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  • Elsie the cow didn’t work out so well for Al Gore, as her poke ball was malfunctioning and every time she threw it it just bounced. So Al Gore ate steak that night. His next idea

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  • the internet. Tipper had disappeared into Etsy and Biden better call him for the ticket. America needed another portly man in the White House. He stirred the fire with his Oscar.

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  • When he finally pulled it from the flames, it was nothing but a lump of molten metal. "That's what I think of your Academy Awards!" he trumpeted from atop his desk to the astonish

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  • ment of the Academy reps. One said, “Melt Oscar? You’ll never work in this town again!” “Really?” said the actor, donning a ball cap. “Step aside! I’m late for my job at Safeway!"

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  • The rep rushed out of the doors, feather in fedora, and donut in mouth. "Au revoir, dear friends!"

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