As the boss, he quit trying long ago. Sure
- As the boss, he quit trying long ago. Sure he showed up, but basically just dicked around all day. He had his feet up watching Entourage season 5, disk 2 when the bigger, regional
- manager came by for a surprise visit to the office, you know, just to "say hello" (yeah right). Her name was Ruth. I called her Ruthless. She weighed at least 300 lbs. & was a real
- ty enthusiast. Ruth was the trainspotter of the property market. She collected the pictures of agents from all around the country. Ruth had almost got a complete set of Century 21
- st Century Fox production assistants. Ruth was a sick woman who collected people. This is why the cage had to be so big with a sloped floor with a drain for human sludge runoff.
- But Ruth did't feel like she was doing anything wrong; she would watch the people, snivelling and sobbing and rolling around in their own muck, and feel benevolent, like a goddess
- Who wore green shirts to work. Ruth was the Queen's assistant and juggled her money books up and down stairs. One day she dropped one and was sent to the Psych Ward for a checkup.
- What a surprise. At the Ward the receptionist told Ruth that a checkup meant she had to write blank checks in the Queens moneybook. Soon the Queen noticed her finances had a hole
- in their logic you could drive a hospital van through. The Queen had Ruth brought before her. "Where's my money, Ruth?! My money Ruth." Ruth saw she wasn't a queen, she was the Hos
- host of an ancient and rather vengeful spirit. The only way that this spirit could remain in the mortal world was through the acquisition of riches. Ruth told her,
- "Honey, if I had any idea of how to acquire riches, I would have done it long ago, had a face lift and a tummy tuck, and would now live in Malibu with Jonny Depp. So don't ask me."
- Started
- 2013-01-25 19:08:41
- Finished
- 2017-09-02 12:15:56
4 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
LordVacuity Sep 02 2017 @ 17:16
Would Johnny Depp be your kept man?
Woab Sep 03 2017 @ 10:55
I used to keep Depp in a jar in my bathroom. Oh, no, wait... that was Dippity Doo.
LordVacuity Sep 03 2017 @ 11:59
Just a dab will do ya.
lucielucie Sep 10 2017 @ 09:47
I'd live in Malibu with Johnny Depp on condition he didn't try out his English accent. Sorry Johnny - dealbreaker.