'Look at the size of that' cried Stephen

'Look at the size of that' cried Stephen pointing at the matchbox sized spider in the bath. Little did he know that the spider had just cried exactly the same thing in Arachnish...

But Stephen King could not speak spider language so he turned the hot water on and boiled the spider before stepping in the shower. Just then his agent called and

said he had gotten a lucrative offer for an interview with a talking spider. "Mr King, do you think you might have some material on this for me?". Steve had been suffering from

succotash, which as we all know is a food dish consisting primarily of corn and lima beans. Stephen King HATED lima beans, thus the suffering. But the loquacious arachnid idea was

re-launched by NASA as a touch & feel exhibit at their museum. Guess what they found in the cafeteria there? Multiple bowls of

Oatmeal ! lovely Oatmeal. A well hidden secret of NASA was that the tiles on the shuttle were actually made from compressed Oatmeal. Well they to use it up. No one would eat it.

Except Neil Armstrong. That man could eat porridge, even 9 days in the pot. Once he got so hungry he ate those heat resistant tiles. This caused an issue on reentry and Houston

had to send in the killer drones and "take care of him". But Neil Armstrong was not so easy to kill, which Houston quickly learned as he piloted the shuttle towards Houston and

kamikaze'd onto the controll center. The cloud of smoke, ash and flames was even visible in Phoenix, and it took Neil Armstrong a while to climb out of the wreckage. 'Houston, we

really can't make do with this prototype. The cupholders obscure the controls when we put Big Gulps in them and the TV trays won't stay folded up. Hey, this aint rocket science!"