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Groid Buttenberg didn't know it was a crime

  • Groid Buttenberg didn't know it was a crime to fart in an elevator in Texas until he was apprehended by Looneyville's Tough on Tootin' Sheriff Jesse Arpeggio in a sting operation
  • which Groid Buttenberg's attorney Lyol Flankersteam established was pure "entrapment!" "Why, why else would the police be selling chilli down by the elevators?" He snapped
  • his fingers and 3 ninja legal assistants leaped to his defense. The DA gnashed his teeth and activated his Mech Superiorum armor. "Point of Order, Ka-Pow! Ka-Pow!" The judge sent
  • him flying, "Eat gavel, Ninjattorney!" No legal-savvy shadow assassin would make a mockery of his courtroom. Gathering the last of his energy, he cried out- "Lawtobots, ASSEMBLE!"
  • They took the form of Optimus Crime, imposer of justice, wielder of the Sacred Branch of Interpretation. There were many gallery casualties as Optimus Crime smacked Ninjattorney
  • on the thighs with his Sacred Branch. Inasmuch as Ninjattorney was well-versed in verbiage but lacked integral training, Optimus Crime's smackdown made ninja stars and verbal darts
  • weaponus non grata. Optimus Crime crashed into Ninjattorney's sumptuous chambers grabbing him by the throat. "Yea, you're a mouthy git, granted, but tell your clients that the stro
  • be light torture is gonna start in 10 minutes if they don't comply!" Ninjattorney reached under his desk & pressed the emergency red button. Optimus Crime still had him by the neck
  • but the button was sticky from gum. Ten minutes passed. Optimus Crime began torturing Ninjattorney with song: "If yousa wantsa be mesa luvah, yousa gotsa get withum mesa friendsa!"
  • Ninjattorney was normally a Spice Girls fan, but Crime's rendition sounded strangely similar to Jar Jar Binks. Spice or no spice, that was scary, and that's when Ninja broke free!

6 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Apr 29 2013 @ 15:11

    See, all the kids today, they're into violent BDSM torture. But turning a person's pop culture back in on them is such exquisite psychological torture that you can keep your vanilla whips, manacles and furred teddies. There is nothing like the blank expression on a hipster's face when you start spouting his own "ghetto" lingo back at him.

  2. lucielucie Apr 29 2013 @ 15:14

    Tough on tootin' & tough on the causes of tootin'.

  3. lucielucie Apr 29 2013 @ 15:18

    How do you torture someone with a teddy?

  4. Zetawilk Apr 29 2013 @ 15:21

    Well, that fabric softener bear (Teddy Ruxpin?) scares the crap outta me.

  5. lucielucie Apr 29 2013 @ 15:38

    I just looked upTeddy Ruxpin - I see what you mean.

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