Donny D'Angelo was so narcissistic he'd go

Donny D'Angelo was so narcissistic he'd go into a hair salon and pay to sit and look at himself in the mirror for 30 minuntes and then say, "Qui bono, Don't change a thing."

Donny D'Angelo was so narcissistic he'd hire bums to fan him with palms as he went shopping for Axe bodyspray.

The Walgreens had some of it in stock. Donny cleaned them out and paid for it. Then the show resumed. Barry the Golfer was puttering around when the sirens went off. It was 3am.

Barry refused to let the sirens keep him from making this putt. Suddenly, the boat listed hard to port and he missed the putt. Barry reasoned the sirens & the hard listing were rel

ated to the lunch he'd vomited overboard almost an hour ago. He should've known better than to try the Vegan meal. Trying to look inconspicuous, he made his way over to the lido

-caine and swallowed a whole tube of it, hoping that its anesthetic qualities would deaden his hunger and his sea-sickness. For a while, it seemed to work, but when the bosun cried

"Mariah", the wind didn't answer. The sails went slack and all the ship slowly came to a stop. The unexpected stillness was too much for him and he puked at the bosun's feet. "Keel

haul the dirty pollywog," he shouted, "but only after he cleans up this vomitus on the quarterdeck." Nobody questioned the Bosun as even as the captain didn't know a thing about it

But the captain heard soon enough to stop the keel hauling. "Bosun, you must understand that any keel hauling absurd this ship is by my order. Unless you meant to mutiny. Did you?"

"You know damn well I did, you pudgy, grizzly, incompetent doofus whose insufferable presence I have endured for many years," said the bosun. "But let's all go home, Captain."