Bob Marley's foot ached. He wanted to go

Bob Marley's foot ached. He wanted to go to the hospital. But his agent said, "Listen man, you're supposed to be spiritual. If you see a doctor it might mess up your

groove, and you can't afford to lose the beat for even one moment. Marley had no idea what he was talking about, since he had never used his foot to

tap to a beat at all those band recitals he'd been forced to endure. He managed to escape the embarrassment of being like every other teenager who plays an instrument. Lacking beat

and other time keeping abilities made him a riot at dance parties. He would fall behind my the third measure and soon be dancing to the beat of his own drummer. His friends smiled

and new that later, sushi would be eaten. Oh, yes, sushi."

No one told me that about wasabi. I saw the green paste by the fake grass and thought "advocado!" I slathered it on the eel roll and popped into my mouth. My date raised an eyebow.

When Jiro saw what I had done, he leapt over the parade of slowly moving sushi boats with a glass of milk. "Drink this if you want to live." I looked at my date, shrugged, and

drank the milk. But milk is no antidote for tetrodotoxin. I'd watched the Simpsons episode. I had only 24 hrs to live. I made up my list of things to do on my last day. Here it is:

1 have a shower, I stink. 2 call my boss and call him an asshole. 3 tell Jenny that I have loved her since high school. 4 count all the boobs in the last Game of Thrones episode. 5

Let out all of the finger monkeys at the Bronx Zoo. My list was complete! I knew I'll never do any of them-I just like to keep lists, and I love counting boobs. Let the day begin!