Are you kidding me? Badgers? Again?

Are you kidding me? Badgers? Again?

Said the Lazy Dachshund. The "Old one" smiled. What do you think Dachsund means? It means "Badger Hound." The Lazy Dachsund slouched, "But I don't want to be a badger hound!

Couldn't I be a shark hound? Or a laser hound? Or a - a ..." The Dachshund trailed off. The Old One nodded sagely. "If you desire that strongly, I will grant you one

wish." The Dachshund was agitated, "I want longer legs and a shorter body and ears that point up & my own harem of bitches", but he only got his first wish. His legs grew until he

straddled cars and lorries. Eventually his legs broke from the weight of his densely packed body. It hurt, but what hurt more was the humiliation. Several passersby snapped photos

lf. Using his engineering background, he created a levitating transport chair and an armada of flying drones. "Who would laugh at the fat man now?" he thought and laughed manically

, sending the drones in a flurry towards the market square. "All the thin people will perish," he ordered. The fat man flew on his levitating chair to spectate the ongoing chaos

The fat man grinned as he watched countless skinny people become mutilated. "This is only but step one of my perfect world. A paradise for food lovers, not TWIGS!" Laughed the fat

one. The starving masses were pleading "Your fatness! Have mercy on us!" but their cries never reached the glutton's fat ears because they were covered by super fat cheeks.