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My Summer Vacation by Billy B Age 9. This

  • My Summer Vacation by Billy B Age 9. This summer we took a brief hiatus from my summer vacation inside a beach cottage on the beach. Foul weather & diarrhea prevented venturing out

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  • side the camper bus and my noxious baked bean induced fumes poisoned the atmosphere.As hail pelted the sagging roof, Mom recounted a list of Dad's failings starting with the Burito

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  • vending machine Dad installed in the camper. Mom was fed up with it, because every hour it sprayed the walls with ghost pepper sauce, sans burrito. "Second of all, you forgot

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  • to bring the EVERLOVING DUCKTAPE YOU IDIOT!!!!" He should have brought that ducktape. What a screwup that kid was. Right at that instance, ghost pepper sauce sprayed the eyes of...

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  • the golf fans standing nearby. They stampeded, as crowds of any sport are known to do, out onto the course, preventing Tiger from making par. Now with two of his clubs broken and

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  • crying uncontrollably, Tiger had no choice but to finally confess that he had never liked people. Their eyes turned red as he took two careful steps backwards.

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  • From there Tiger pounced forth upon the red-eyed people, tearing them asunder. No-one could call him a liar, particularly since he had killed them all and served them on a bed of

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  • Lettuce and chopped raw veggies for salad. Mr. Tiger and family ate all of it faster than you could count to ten. They were hungry and had laid in wait for their prey all afternoon

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  • in the hot, hot, hot sun. They do not have HDTV out there on the savana so the lions can only get Standard Resolution feeds on their Mgambo tablets. So short of it is, they were wa

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  • sting their lives suffering needlessly from a lack of technology. So next time you're thinking about feeding a hungry child in Africa - remember the plight of the lions.

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