"The apocalypse is coming!" The weird guy-with-the-impending-doom-sign-strapped-to-his-front

"The apocalypse is coming!" The weird guy-with-the-impending-doom-sign-strapped-to-his-front shouted. I was figuring this one was a total loon, when the whole earth started

to split from pole to pole, the oceans draining into the earth's core, quenching it and sending out vast clouds of super-heated steam. Luckily, I lived a mile from the nearest

7-Eleven and was able to stock up on T.P., snacks and comic books. So long as the end of the world didn't take more that a week or so, I was all set.

But there in my Man Bunker, what I hadn't thought of was that the end of the world was also accompanied by the return of a certain man from Galilee. After the quakes, thunder storm

s, and general storms of ants and havoc cleared away, I could only gaze up in wonder as the vision of a man I thought I had lost greeted my sore eyes. "Hello." He said, dreamily. I

ran into his narrowly outstretched arms. More like he was reaching for me. I didn't care, he was alive! I didn't even mind that he looked gravely. Then he did something strange, he

dropped to the ground and pressed his face against the parched grass. "We need rain," he said. "Looks like the grass is even thirstier than I am." The sky was clear but bleak. No,

it was not going to rain today. "Well," I told him, "I've only got one bottle of water. Do you want it or should I give it to the grass?" He took a moment to consider it and then

shrugged. “We could give it to the guy in front of Whole Foods. The guy with the hair.”

Yeah, that sounded good to all of us. The guy with the hair seemed like he ended up there not from addiction or scamming, but because he heard The Whole Music. Poor lucky guy.