You awaken on the banks of a cactus-lined

You awaken on the banks of a cactus-lined river of acid. You wonder aloud at the sexy tickle in your lower pendiculum. Safron (had you dreamed her?) had warned you sternly not to

to play the Spice Girls. That level of pre-packaged, diagrammed pop music could cause brain blisters and skull shingles. But he couldn't help it. Scary Spice was so hot that

he'd invested in plastic surgery in order to transform himself into Eddie Murphy. Eddie would have quite the shock when his son came out half Martian. Oh yes, he was an alien too.

Which reminded him of Fisher Price® Little People for some reason. He loved those as a child until that one day the dog

pooped out the entire Village People, along with a doctor, and a pirate. These wee gay folk just

Danced around like the weirdos that they were. Village People are weird people. Suddenly, they all died when George woke up and realized that it was a dream. He was just nervous to

be awake again, dreams were such comforting places to be. He plucked up the courage to leave the house and he hopped on the first bus to

Grandma's. "What's that go to do with the price of tea in China," she demanded. "The problem is Ninjas," he explained, "Japs, not Chinese. And I need help." Outside, the bus waited

and Grandma's new girlfriend sat at the wheel. The ninjas would not wait, the world tour would have to. "I'll be back as quickly as I can", I yelled to Chance, our drummer, as I